


Exodus

by VenusGuided



Category: Silent Trilogy - Sues Cummings
Genre: M/M, There's also smut, i'm all about that realism baby, like a really long sex scene, that's not even a little bit sexy, this is an AU that is mostly explained in the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:16:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11007702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenusGuided/pseuds/VenusGuided
Summary: After a three year absence, Arez tumbles into Nova's bedroom, crying. Nova tries to figure out wtf, and how to cope with all these feelings he has.





	Exodus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MyDudeRian](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=MyDudeRian).



> [title source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ods2-9n3cVM)
> 
>  
> 
> WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S STILL 2015
> 
> ages in this fic are a bit different cos it's based on the high school au i have in my head To Cope. nova & crow are abt 2-3 years older than lao & arez so they can all be in school together.
> 
> also if you're not checking the tags: THIS HAS A RLY LONG SEX SCENE it's awkward & i think it's hilarious. i don't think i've ever actually posted a sex scene before? and now i do for rian? but why?

Just when Nova finally managed to get a peaceful afternoon with no uni, no part-time job and no brothers to deal with after weeks of constantly putting up with everybody else’s bullshit and no time at all to watch that new SBS documentary, Arez fucking Smythe climbed in his window.

“Oh good, you still live here,” Arez said as he climbed through.

“What the fuck,” Nova replied.

“It’s been three years, I thought you might’ve moved,” Arez explained. Like that was remotely what Nova had meant.

“You moved to America,” Nova said. “Why’re you —?”

Arez stood up, shut the window behind him, and drew the curtains closed. Then he sat on the ground and started hyperventilating.

“What the fuck,” Nova said again, but more urgent and panicked. He moved to Arez’s side but stopped before touching him. Arez _used_ to be okay with Nova touching him, but what was to say he still was?

“Ch-Christ-Christian!” Arez gasped.

Obviously.

“Pl-please don’t make me go back!” Arez pleaded. “I’m s-so-sorry it’s b-been for-ever! I tr-tried, I —”

He broke off into sobs, burying his face in his hands while he was at it.

“It’s okay,” Nova said desperately. He didn’t know how to comfort Arez any more. “It’s — you can stay, okay? Just calm the fuck down.”

“I thought it was gonna be good!” Arez wailed. “I was s-so excited, I was s-so!” He hiccupped.

“You were happy,” Nova remembered. “You said, ‘Christian finally loves me again. All through the magic of music’.”

Arez nodded.

“Because why else would a fuckwit like Christian Smythe move his entire family across the world to help his son pursue a music career,” Nova continued. He remembered talking about it. He remembered Arez searching for the angle. The only one they came up with was money, but there was no guarantee of success. Even with all of Arez’s talent.

(“After all,” Arez had said, “Britney Spears can’t sing but she’s a singer. Maybe I can sing so well I’ll _never_ be famous.”)

“Turns out it was money,” Arez sobbed. “Turns out h-he.” Arez didn’t finished his sentence. Instead, he peered at Nova through his tears and asked, “Do you hate me now?”

“Of course not!” Nova cried.

“I c-couldn’t talk to y-you, for so long, you sh-should.”

“I assumed it was your dad,” Nova said urgently. “He always hated us.”

Arez nodded. “I tried, but him, and my agent, and time zones, and everything…”

“It’s okay,” Nova insisted.

Arez swapped to shaking his head. “You’re not touching me, you used to always —”

“Didn’t think you’d want me to any more,” Nova replied.

Arez threw his arms around Nova. He pressed his eyes against Nova’s shoulder, mumbled, “Lemme cry for a bit” then started sobbing incoherently.

Nova wound an arm around Arez’s waist, burying the hand of the other in Arez’s hair. As he held him, as Arez cried, he remembered when Arez told him he was leaving.

*

Three years ago. Sitting in Arez’s treehouse, winding a bandage around his hand just like Lao’d taught him. So he could punch Christian Smythe in the face without hurting himself, if it came to that. And Nova was sure it would.

He’d been listening to the faint sounds of Christian and Arez shouting at each other for almost an hour. Christian was starting to sound hoarse. Arez wasn’t. Obviously. Nova’d watched as his natural siren powers were enhanced by all the diaphragm breathing techniques Lao and Luna taught him in secret, after their choir or musical rehearsals. Because Arez wasn’t allowed to take something as gay as Music at school. Arez’d help them get the notes right, then watch them get praised as natural talents while he had to take an extra Maths class.

“It’s stupid, isn’t it,” Lao remarked one day. “Arez doesn’t even know what the notes are called but he teaches it better than Mr Mitchell. He should be doing it, not me.”

“Yeah, he should,” Nova agreed.

“He says he doesn’t like acting, but I dunno, if he tried it properly, he’s already pretty fake and fairly dramatic…” Lao trailed off. “Hey, ask him to ditch his dad and live with us again, okay?”

Lao never understood why Arez wouldn’t leave when invited. It’d been easy for him to ditch his mother because he’d always been loved by someone. Lao didn’t understand why Arez always glared suspiciously at their affection, no matter how slight. Lao didn’t understand that Arez still thought his father was doing everything out of love because he didn’t have any spare parental figures to compare the bastard to, or even that Arez hadn’t had friends before Lao turned up and decided, yep, here’s my new project.

So, basically, Nova’d been wanting to punch Christian Smythe in the face for years.

Naturally that was the day Athena got involved in the shouting. Nova hadn’t known what to think when he first heard her voice join the fray; he’d never heard Athena talk anything louder than an exasperated groan. But then it got quieter.

Nova started wrapping bandages around his other hand. Then he unwound it, and wrapped it again with excruciating pain, three times. That was how long it took for Arez to come bursting out of the house and clamber up the tree.

“Nova,” he gasped, breathless. He was grinning.

“What happened?” Nova asked.

Arez climbed through the trapdoor and slammed it closed behind him. He crawled across the floor towards Nova, grin growing wider. “So. Okay. I dunno how to start. It’s so weird? Dad was shouting cos he, y’know, found out I was busking. But he found out cos, uhm. Uh. That’s the terrifying thing. Some, American wants me to go on a talk show. Cos I’m such a good singer.”

“The fuck’d they know you exist?” Nova asked.

“YouTube,” Arez replied. “I didn’t put anything up though so I didn’t know. Athena did! Like, she actually did stuff? The stuff was filming me busking and putting it on YouTube and then it got shared all over the place, a few songs, like, everywhere! Celebrities tweeted about me! And this one American weirdo was one of them and people have been trying to find me, find out who I am I mean, so they can help me make music properly, isn’t that amazing?!”

It sounded too good to be true.

“So Dad was shouting at me about it, cos they called and he picked up, and I didn’t know what the fuck, and he’s an asshole, but then Athena shouted at him, so now we’re going to L.A. which is in America and we might move there cos it really really sounds like I could do this, for real.”

“That’s a lot to take in,” Nova said slowly. “Why do you always explain everything so quickly I can’t think?”

Arez laughed. “What’s there to think about? I’m gonna be famous. And even better, Athena’s not as lame as I thought, and, and best, Christian finally loves me again. All through the magic of music!”

Instead of saying what he actually thought, Nova asked, “When’re you leaving?”

“Friday,” Arez replied. “All expenses paid by what’s-her-name’s people. For the show. Then a lot of stuff looks likely. We’re gonna see.”

I’m gonna miss the hell outta you, Nova wanted to say. Inside he said, “Sounds pretty fuckin’ incredible.”

Arez beamed at him.

And Nova knew, Arez would make it. He knew he was losing him. He knew Arez’d never really been his. Which was fine, but somewhere along the way, all of Nova’s dreams got melded with Arez. As mixed up as their eyes.

Nova didn’t know what he’d do without seeing those eyes every day.

*

Arez’s eyes were swollen and red when he stopped crying. Nova brushed back his hair and asked, “Okay?”

“Obviously not,” Arez mumbled.

“All cried out, I mean.”

Arez nodded. He pulled away until he was sitting on the ground, looking kinda pathetic, honestly.

“C’mon,” Nova said, standing up. “I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“Is Lao here?” Arez asked.

“Nah, he’s on a date,” Nova replied. Trying to keep that usual jealous edge out of the way, like he wasn’t meaning ‘You’d better not have a crush on my little brother, he’s taken, and I’m right here’.

Arez’s eyes widened. “Lao got over me?”

Nova snorted. “Was he ever that into you?”

“Don’t be a jerk!” Arez cried. “I’m going through enough!”

“It was, what, five years ago? Aren’t you over it?”

“Six,” Arez corrected. “I was thirteen. Re-mem-ber?”

Nova did. He tried to downplay how much he remembered when Arez was involved. It was pretty hard to forget how huge and awe-filled Arez’s eyes were whenever he looked at Lao back then, and how angry it made Nova. Not cos he’d liked Arez back then, but cos he’d (rightly) hated Arez and thought he’d never be good enough for Lao. Yet Arez declared his love over and over again anyway until Lao decided he had to love Arez back. Then they broke up within three months because Arez realised (as he admitted to Nova in a mumbled frenzy) he’d been more in love with the idea of Lao than the reality, and most of all, he’d had this weird idea that Lao was only interested in being his friend ‘because romance’.

(“But you wanna be my friend too, right?” Arez had asked.

“Sure,” Nova said. Mostly because it would be too soul-crushing to say, actually, no, not really, you’re kinda weird when you’re not being a bigoted creep. Not to mention three years younger than me and in a weirdly intense pseudo-romance with the little brother.

“And you’re not interested in like, date-y stuff, right?” Arez asked.

“No way,” Nova replied. The ignorance of youth. The assumption Arez would never change.)

Nova led Arez down to the kitchen. Arez said he remembered but was hiding behind Nova “Just in case Crow turns up.”

“He’s at the gym,” Nova replied. “Won’t be back for hours.”

“You’re more built now,” Arez casually said. “You’re not like, gym bros now?”

“Nah,” Nova replied. “I just eat more.”

(No need to mention how, after Arez started getting really famous, Nova started to think there was no way a pop star’d wanna be with anything but a beefcake. So, actually, yeah, he was gym bros with Crow for a while. Except impressive Hollywood-style muscle mass took a level of regular ability to eat food Nova simply didn’t have. And Crow said, “Novie, like Smythe’d care, he’s a freak anyway, he’d corrupt the world before it’d corrupt him. Plus you’re mad hot anyway.”)

Arez sat on the kitchen counter as Nova made their drinks. He looked much more relaxed, and his eyes were returning to normal. Nova realised his hair was longer, down past his hips, the ends curling around against the counter. He wasn’t much taller, but he was thinner, so he looked it.

“How’d you get here anyway?” Nova asked.

“I stole a teleportation gem from my manager,” Arez replied. “It’s not hard to use. If you think of it as a like, a way to channel free magical energy.”

Nova handed Arez a mug. “Why’d your manager have a thing like that?”

“Um. He said it was a personal gift,” Arez replied. “He’s got a bunch of them. The gems, I mean. So I took ’em all.” He paused. “Well. Okay no, not me, I’m too scared of him. Athena did.”

Nova raised his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

Arez nodded so enthusiastically he almost spilled his drink. “She’s cool now. America was good for her. They’re _so_ selfish and she _needs_ to be selfish, so — and probably cos Christian was always around me, not her. I didn’t know he was a jerk to her too.” He took a long sip of his drink, gasped, and mumbled, “I forgot how good chocolate is…”

So, that explained the weight loss.

“Your manager’s a dainisa then,” Nova concluded. “Is he gonna come after you?”

“Probably,” Arez replied. “He doesn’t have powers so like, whatever. Well. He has lawyer powers but, again, whatever.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

Arez frowned like this was an odd question. “Hide here.”

“For the rest of your life?”

“No, no. For the rest of _Christian_ ’s life.”

Nova rolled his eyes. “You really haven’t changed much.”

“So it won’t be a problem,” Arez concluded. “Cos you liked me then, so you like me now, cool, good, fine, great, thanks.”

“Someone’ll recognise you,” Nova flatly replied.

“I’ll cut my hair,” Arez announced. “Oh! Oh! And I’ll dye it blond!” He smirked. “That’ll really piss Lao off, won’t it?”

“Only if you look better than him,” Nova replied. “Which’d be a possibility, I guess.”

“I guess,” Arez repeated in disbelief. “Does Lao hate me now?”

“He’s angry at you,” Nova admitted. “You know him. Anger’s how he copes.”

“Copes?” Arez frowned.

Nova forgot what it was like to deal with someone so obtuse he had to spell everything out. “He misses you. So he’s angry.”

“Ohhh. So he’s still an idiot.”

“Basically.”

Arez took a long sip before asking (a bit too casually) “Who’s Lao dating now?”

“A literal fuckin’ demon, actually.”

Arez rolled his eyes. “Figures.”

“Ah, he’s not too bad,” Nova admitted. Not that he’d say that around Kez — the bastard had to stay on his toes and prove every day he was good enough for Pixie. And that he wasn’t _that_ kind of demon.

“What about you?” Arez asked. “Are you —?”

“No,” Nova said quickly. “No, I’m, uh. Too busy. With uni. And work.”

Arez looked at him curiously. Nova wondered how much he knew. Not for the first time. Nova’d never been subtle because Arez needed to be loved so damn much. But he’d always given Arez space — more space than he needed, Lao often said.

Except Crow often said, ‘As much space as _you_ need to get over what an _asshole edgelord Naruto fan_ Smythe was’, and that was much more true. Nova didn’t want to admit it, but it was. He’d watched Arez grow up quickly, he’d received a lot of apologies, and he’d spent a long time watching Arez, waiting for him to screw up again, but…

But Crow himself was proof some white boys grew up enough to be worth loving.

“Is it okay?” Arez asked. “Me staying here, I mean.”

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Nova replied. “Crow’ll like pretending you’re his nemesis again, and Pixie’ll be happy to see you after he shouts at you a bit. He’ll probably cry, just so you know.”

Arez wrinkled his nose. “Ew.”

Nova nodded. “Cos he always asked you to stay with us, and you never did.”

“Oh. That’s less stupid than I thought.”

Nova snorted.

Arez set his mug down on the counter. “I know they’ll catch up, I know they’ll make me go back, but, for a while —”

“It’s fine,” Nova insisted. “It’s gonna be okay, Are.”

Arez nodded, staring down at his knees. “It was always okay. When you were with me, I mean. I’d always end up okay.”

Nova’s face grew unbearably warm.

Arez jumped down and rummaged in the top drawer next to the stove. He pulled out a pair of scissors and held them out to Nova. “So!”

Nova took them, staring in confusion.

Arez traced a line along his hair, just a bit above his shoulders. “Cut it.”

Nova tried not to show his surprise. “You’re sure?”

Arez nodded insistently. “If it’s you, yeah. I trust you.”

Damn if Nova didn’t wanna kiss Arez until he was out of breath.

Instead, he put a hand on Arez’s shoulder and said, “Turn around.”

And he cut Arez’s hair exactly as directed.

*

When Crow came home, Arez was locked in the bathroom bleaching his hair. He said he knew how to do it, and well, whatever, like Nova knew any better, he’d only done it half a dozen times, in addition to balancing it with hair relaxants.

“Hi honey,” Crow said, kissing Nova on the cheek as he flopped down next to him on the couch.

“Fuck off,” Nova groaned, elbowing him away. “What if he sees?”

“Novie, Lao’s a bit past thinking I’m gay for you,” Crow replied. “We all knows I’m not pretty enough for you. Or brunet enough. Or freaky matching eyes enough. Or midriff-flasher enough. Or pop star enough.”

“Stop it,” Nova hissed. “I didn’t even mean Pixie, it’s Arez, he’s —”

Crow raised his eyebrows. “On TV again, or something?”

“In our bathroom,” Nova flatly said. “So if you fuckin’ tell him I’ve got a — a whatever, on him, I’ll —”

“Don’t tell Smythe you’re madly in love with him because you’re so subtle about it,” Crow said flatly. “Because he’s totally in our bathroom. Yeah. Sure. I told you, don’t take anything Uriel offers you, no matter how convincing he is.”

“Who’d ever be stupid enough to take anything from Uriel? ’Cept you and Pixie.”

“Babe. Stop being bitter. And stop pretending Arez is here, it’s psychotic,” Crow said. He patted Nova on the thigh before standing up. “Right. I’m takin’ a shower.”

“Use Pixie’s bathroom.”

Crow rolled his eyes. “Please. If Arez Smythe was here, I’d’ve heard him screaming about lizard people or tapeworms or worse, fuckin’, _Naruto_ by now.”

“ _Don’t_ walk in on him.”

“I’m not using Pixie’s bathroom, I don’t wanna end up smelling like demon bait.”

“Demon bait smells like gardenia?”

Crow stared at him in disbelief. “The fuck is a gardenia?”

Nova rolled his eyes.

Crow shook his head. “Whatever. I’m not indulging this.”

“ _Why_ don’t’cha believe me, bro?” Nova demanded. “Why’re you thinking I’m crazy instead of that I’m tellin’ the truth?”

“I think you think you’re telling the truth,” Crow replied. “I always said, you’ve gotta be crazy to be gay for Smythe. And here’s the proof. You’re hallucinating.”

“I’m not hallucinating,” Nova said. “And if it’s not —”

“NOVA!” Arez cried.

Crow sat up straighter. “Folie à deux,” he whispered. “I knew this would happen.”

Arez came bursting in, throwing the towel angrily from his head. His hair was very, very blond. “Tell me I don’t look like a fake-tan Malfoy!”

“Not lying to you, Aré.”

Arez groaned, angrily kicking the towel.

“Folie imposée,” Crow whispered. “Nova, the high school rumours were right, you’re domming.”

“Dude, shut up,” Nova said. He looked over at Arez. “Ever heard of toner?”

Arez placed a hand angrily on his hip. “Like for printers?! You want me to put ink in my hair?!”

“You can’t just chuck bleach on your hair and expect that to look good,” Nova replied.

“I always look good,” Arez said. “What’s the point of the diet and the fitness regime and the everything if I don’t, huh?”

Nova didn’t know how to answer that.

“You’re such a little shitlord,” Crow said.

“I’m not talking to you!” Arez cried. “I’m not _copying_ you either, back when you were all _blond_ and shit, because I have taste!”

“Yeah, you’re copying Pixie,” Nova said.

Arez picked up the towel and threw it at Nova. It landed halfway between them. “Shut up! Don’t even start! Help me already!”

Nova stood up. He walked over, picking up the towel on the way. He draped it around Arez’s shoulders. “C’mon then.”

“Is the towel a hallucination too,” Crow said. “I don’t want Arez Smythe in my house. This must be a hallucination.”

“You _would_ fantasise about me, you’re so gay for me you hate me!” Arez shouted.

“Hallucinations aren’t fantasies, jackass!” Crow snapped. “You can’t control them! That’s why a nightmare like you would —”

“Holy shit, both of you, shut up,” Nova interjected. “Can’t you just admit you missed each other and get on with it?”

There was a long silence.

“Novie, honey, bro, you gotta quit being such a killjoy,” Crow sighed.

“Wait, what?” Arez muttered, frowning.

“Come on,” Nova said, steering Arez back to the bathroom. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I think I missed that too,” Arez said, like he was surprised to hear it.

Nova found the bottle of toner. “You wanna do it, or —?”

“You do it,” Arez said. He wrapped the towel higher around his neck, pulling his hair out from under it as he turned his back on Nova.

“All right,” Nova said uneasily. He’d done this a million times to his own hair, but touching Arez’s hair, being responsible for the way it turned out, shit, damn…

“It doesn’t matter how it looks,” Arez suddenly said. “Just that it doesn’t look Malfoy-ish, and just that it doesn’t look like me.”

Obviously Nova liked more than just Arez’s looks (which had been its own existential crisis), but he was vain enough to admit he never wanted to hear Arez express a desire to not look like himself again.

Arez’s hair became a cool ash blond that wouldn’t offend Lao too much, and suited him badly enough for Arez decide it was a ‘perfect disguise’.

“I mean, just covering your midriff is probably enough,” Nova said.

“Shut up!” Arez cried. “ _Some_ people pay more attention to my talent and sparkling personality, _not_ my body.”

“Can’t it be both?”

Arez looked up at Nova and, without missing a beat, replied, “Only if it’s you.”

And then the little shit walked off, laughing.

“Holy shit,” Nova whispered.

He walked back out to the living room to find Arez throwing the towel at Crow as Crow turned up the already too-loud episode of _Sailor Moon_ on TV.

Definitely real. Unreally real. Just like they were still in high school.

*

Five and a half years ago. Nova was walking through Salamanca with Crow, pretending not to absolutely despise the weekly market.

“We’re gonna find something great for Lao and then he’ll stop being sad about Smythe dumping him,” Crow had declared as they walked into the street through St David’s Park.

“Maybe if you’d stop talking about it like that,” Nova suggested.

“No, I’m pretty sure we’ve got to bribe him with presents,” Crow replied. “He’s so vain. So materialist. So bourgeois. So Madonna. And he never did justify his love.”

Nova was obviously angry with Arez for spending so long pursuing Lao then dumping him with such a casual ‘oh sorry I didn’t actually like you after all, whoops’. Only it was a very normal thing to have happen. It was less normal that Lao had somehow gone into a relationship _at thirteen_ expecting they’d get married.

“That’s the worst part,” Lao kept crying to him, “we’re soul mates! We belong together! We were gonna get married!”

Nova wasn’t sure what they could buy Lao to convince him real love was a little bit more complicated than a romantic comedy. Therapy, maybe?

Crow liked to psychoanalyse them both, but reading psychology textbooks didn’t mean he understood them. Definitely not on an emotional level. Nova wondered what Crow would say if he said, ‘You’re regressing in your fraternal relationship with Lao. This is just a weak reflection of when you made him that tiger toy because he was homesick for Japan. This isn’t expressing any sentiment but ‘I don’t know what to do any more so I’m patronising you’. Get over your squeamishness and talk to him about dating, you’re the one who actually bothers.’

But Crow was thick, and a coward, and he’d realise eventually on his own. If Nova forced him into it, it would only make Lao suffer more.

And maybe someday Lao would realise he was probably so fixated on the idea of ‘true love’ because his mother had abandoned him and the implication was ‘never leaving, no matter what’.

Nova didn’t want to be the asshole to suggest any of this, though.

Nova just wanted his little brother to smile again, and maybe even remember how much he’d enjoyed being Arez’s friend. Never dating him, Lao’d always complained about that, saying creepy stuff no thirteen-year-old should say, like ‘he’s frigid’. But they’d been good friends. They challenged each other in ways that honestly reminded Nova of himself and Crow.

Nova forced himself to stop brooding and focus on the market around them. Crafts, mostly. Pixie didn’t particularly like crafts, unless they were made by someone he liked. Or covered in gems.

“What’re you even thinkin’ of?” Nova asked.

“I don’t know,” Crow whined. “ _I’m_ not bourgeois.”

“You’re wearing a _Nirvana_ t-shirt. That’s pretty bourgeois.”

“Eat a pile of dicks, hater,” Crow replied. Then he gasped. “What if we get him a cake shaped like Smythe’s dick, only we make it taste _terrible_ , so then he’ll never want it aga—”

“Stop talking before I’m morally obligated to kick your arse.”

“At least I’m making suggestions,” Crow huffed. “It’s so easy to be critical.”

“Yeah, cos you’re a fuckin’ idiot.”

Honestly, the problem with Lao was he wasn’t materialistic enough. They both knew he’d love anything they gave him just because it was from them. It was a little pathetic, actually; why bother trying to find something actually good when he’d love it as much as a random piece of string?

Love, or whatever.

The same thing that got them in this mess in the first place.

Goddammit Pixie needed to chill.

“This is stupid,” Nova declared after a while. “You were probably onto something with cake, let’s just get him somethin’ from that café he likes.”

“It’ll take them a while to commission —”

“ _No_.”

They headed into Salamanca Square. They didn’t make it far before being stopped by a crowd. It wouldn’t have been weird if the centre of it weren’t obviously a busker, playing an _acoustic guitar_ , of all things.

“The hell?” Crow muttered.

Then they heard the voice. Nova recognised it immediately, and fought the urge to groan.

“Hey, this loser’s pretty good? What the hell?” Crow said, frowning.

“Don’t,” Nova started, but Crow was shoving his way through the crowd.

It was one thing to recognise the voice. It was another to see Arez sitting in the middle of a crowd, playing guitar, singing, not being a public nuisance or brother’s heart breaker.

“Holy shit,” Crow whispered to him. “How — what — what?!”

“Siren,” Nova muttered.

Though the worst thing was, he could tell Arez wasn’t using his powers.

“Little shit,” Crow mumbled.

Nova shrugged. “Let’s go.”

“Hell no,” Crow replied, “there’s gotta be something we can use here.”

Nova rolled his eyes. He didn’t see the point. Arez was good, and positive attention for positive actions was good for emo little shits like Arez and Lao.

They listened to a couple of songs. Crow was looking surprisingly emotional. Nova was about to ask him something, but then Crow shouted:

“Play _Wonderwall_!”

Nova groaned.

Arez froze, looking at them in alarm. Then he frowned in determination. He adjusted the guitar slightly, then started to play it.

“Holy shit,” Crow grinned. “He’s doing it. What an idiot.”

Arez’s rendition of _Wonderwall_ was so hauntingly beautiful Crow started crying.

So, who’s the real idiot?

Later, when Nova mentioned the incident, Lao snorted and said, “He’s so pathetic. Whatever. You know who seems cool? Kris Jeehl.”

Nova fought the urge to groan.

*

Arez had somehow pinned Crow down and wrenched the remote from his hand, shouting, “You gotta lift more, _bro_!”

“Shut up!” Crow shouted. “I don’t even! This isn’t an issue of lifting — GET OFF!”

“Maybe you gotta dance more, so you don’t just have pretty-boy muscles,” Arez said.

It was a new top contender for weirdest thing Nova had ever walked in on.

“You don’t even have muscles!” Crow cried. “How is this?! What is this?! NOVA! NOVAAAA!”

Crow managed to kick Arez off easily once he stopped being pathetic. It was too late, though; Arez had turned off the sound (why he needed the remote to do that instead of using his _magic_ was beyond Nova) and was changing the channel.

“I can’t believe you’re both five,” Nova said.

Crow leant over the back of the couch, holding an arm out to Nova. “Oh, Novie, tell me my muscle def is pretty, won’t you?”

Arez dropped the remote, turning slowly around, glaring. Weird.

“It’s pretty,” Nova replied.

Crow grinned. “Am I sexy?”

“Fuck off.”

Crow grabbed his arm, pulling him closer. “Aww, I know Nova-speak well enough to know what that means, you beautiful Adonis.”

“Aren’t Adonises usually white,” Nova said, “I mean when you lot say it.”

“Think it’s fine when you’re Greek? Whatever. Give me another shorthand for ‘most beautiful man in the world’ and I’ll use that, babe,” Crow said. “Oh wait, your name, that’ll do.”

Arez threw the remote at Crow, shouting, “LET HIM GO, YOU CREEPLORD!”

Crow did, in surprise, then started laughing. Obviously he was baiting Arez for some reason. Nova just couldn’t figure out what.

No, he could, he just didn’t _want_ to. Not while Arez was on the run from his abusive father. That felt too much like taking advantage of a vulnerability.

“Thanks _Aré_ ,” Crow said, twisting back around. “Now we’re gonna watch _Sailor Moon_ for five hundred years. _Dubbed_.”

Arez paled. “No… you can’t just… _dubbed_?!”

As the theme song started, Crow started loudly singing (deliberately out-of-tune), “Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by daylight!”

“NOOOOOOO!”

Nova looked at the clock. Lao would be home soon. He didn’t know if he’d be able to calm Arez down enough to be appropriately warned. What was it with anime freaks and hating English when it was coming from their dumb cartoons?

*

Of course, with how fate played out, Lao walked in to find Arez pinning Crow in a position that looked much more compromising than it really was. Then again, it was Lao. Arez being there was compromising enough.

Sure enough, Lao’s eyes widened with betrayal. He took a step back, walking into his idiot demon of a boyfriend.

“Arez,” Lao whispered.

Arez froze. He slowly looked up, then across at Lao.

“Holy shit you’re blond,” Kez laughed.

“Shut up, Cooper!” Arez shouted, climbing off Crow. “Lao and I were having a moment!”

Lao’s eyes narrowed and Nova thought, shit.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, walking closer.

“Pixie, he’s —”

“Don’t talk for him!” Lao shouted. “I haven’t seen him in so long, I don’t remember what his voice sounds like.”

“Don’t be a bitch!” Arez cried.

“And he hasn’t seen me for so long he’s apparently forgotten what I’ll do to him for calling me a bitch,” Lao said, taking a step closer as he engulfed a hand in fire. “You _abandoned_ us, and now, you —”

“Lao,” the demon interrupted, “how about you stop for five seconds?”

“No!” Lao cried. “He, he —”

“If he deserves it, you’re still going to think it after five seconds,” the demon said. The fire vanished. The demon led Lao slightly back, towards the door, talking very quietly to him.

“No, no it’s not — shut up, okay, I —” Lao apparently realised how loudly he was talking because after that he leant up and started whispering in the demon’s ear.

And it was pretty obvious from the look on Arez’s face he was hearing every word regardless. Nova wondered if the demon realised that too. Lao obviously didn’t; he regularly got too caught up in the intensity of his own emotions to remember how the world worked. And where Lao was too trusting for his own good, the demon was too conniving for his own good. Was it any wonder Nova had a hard time accepting they were good for each other?

“Okay,” Lao said quietly, settling down off the balls of his feet.

“You sure?” the demon asked.

Lao nodded. He turned to Arez, took several steps closer, and said, “I hate you.”

Arez looked surprised, then crushed, then pissed. As he opened his mouth to start shouting, Lao started talking again, louder.

“I know you probably couldn’t say anything to us, I assumed so anyway, but you never let your dad stop you from doing anything before, and all we had to tell us you were okay were music videos and interviews so forced you probably had a, thing, in your ear, telling you what to say.”

“Earpiece,” Arez said.

“Yes, fine, whatever, three years is a long time. And you made me so worried and afraid for you and pissed off at being abandoned I hate you.”

The demon cleared his throat.

“I know it’s not your fault,” Lao said.

“Then what the hell’m I meant to say?” Arez cried.

“I don’t know! That you’re not gonna abandon me again?”

“But if you hate me why would you care?”

“I don’t actually hate you, idiot! Hasn’t three years of sappy love songs given you any sense of subtlety?!”

“I dunno but three years of whatever you’ve been doing has sure made you _pretentious_!”

Lao pointed over his shoulder at the demon. “Three years of doing _that_.”

“Six months,” the demon muttered.

Arez was shouting, though. “Ew! Shut up! Get a better sense of humour!”

“Oh, so you know what jokes are now?”

“Your _face_ is a joke.”

“I’m not the one who’s a literal fucking internet meme!”

“It was only three times, okay! Now I hate you too!”

“Fine!”

Then the hugging started.

“What the fuck,” Crow said, pulling a face. “I’m out.”

Crow disappeared. Nobody cared.

Nova didn’t think anyone was genuinely surprised, anyway. Lao and Arez were both ridiculously intense about everything. It was already a miracle neither of them were crying.

*

Two and a half years ago, Nova found Lao sitting in the living room, watching a TV interview with Arez he’d recorded with wide, unblinking eyes surrounded by bags so dark they actually drew attention away from the freaky purple irises.

“Pixie…?”

Lao quickly turned the TV off. “What? Nothing? You?”

It always surprised Nova too how quickly he moved whenever Lao was in trouble or distressed. He laid a hand on Lao’s cheek, making sure he couldn’t hide his face. “You look really sick, Pixie. How long’s it been since you slept?”

Lao peered evasively towards the TV as he shrugged.

Nova quietly said, “I’m worried too, y’know.”

“He promised me,” Lao said. “He said he was gonna at least tell me what colour to paint my nails every week.”

“He’s probably just busy,” Nova replied. It sounded hollow even to himself.

“I thought that too,” Lao said. “I thought, it’d take a while to adjust, he’ll be busy for a couple of months riding the hype from that YouTube thing, he’s been on so many talk shows! But he hasn’t been on any new ones for a while. So I thought, okay, he’s recording, but, but…” Lao’s voice faltered. “I’m being selfish and weird, aren’t I.”

“Obsessively rewatching interviews instead of sleeping is a little weird, yeah, but not selfish.”

“I don’t mean to expect anything from him,” Lao said. “Only, only he said, h-he’d… b-but, I’m being selfish, and clingy, right? H-he’s just busy, a-and I…”

Nova brought Lao into a tight hug the moment he started crying. He thought about how much sense it made for Lao to have abandonment issues, after being passed around indifferent family members for years until they dumped him on _Leon_ of all monsters. He thought about how hard Lao tried to get along with everyone, while being true to himself, while living up to being a princess. He thought about how fiercely Lao loved everyone, but especially the people who cared enough to look at his heart, and how he’d drive himself into the ground just to see them smile. Because Amaya raised him to be a martyr, then decided he wasn’t good enough.

Lao was a person he’d adored from the moment he’d turned to a crowd of jyji and demanded they treat Nova like an equal at age 4. A person who’d loved and welcomed him so completely he’d become Nova’s home, a person he could count on to always make him feel better.

Nova thought about how he could so completely understand a person and still have no concept of how to make them feel better.

So he’d hugged Lao until he stopped crying. And he took all the self-loathing he felt as Lao was forced to talk _himself_ back into optimism and directed it towards Arez.

But in the end it couldn’t hold. Nova was worried about Arez, Nova missed Arez, Nova felt pretty abandoned too, actually. All the same, it wasn’t Arez’s fault Nova had no idea how to comfort his little brother.

*

Maybe it was something like guilt, but Arez dragged Lao off to his bedroom (apparently having no issue remembering where it was), loudly talking about painting his ‘suddenly crappy’ nails.

“Uh, I’ll see you later, Kez?” Lao called as Arez dragged.

“Mmhm,” the demon ‘said’. “No pink, got it?”

“Of course not! Bye! I love you!”

“Ew,” Arez said yet again as Nova wondered yet again how Lao could be so open with his emotions.

The demon didn’t leave immediately. He looked at Nova curiously and Nova demanded, “What.”

“Nothing,” the demon said quickly.

Nova glared. “Are you usin’ that damn demon magic on us again?”

“No,” Kez said, very quickly. “I’m going.”

After he left, Nova said, “He was totally usin’ that damn demon magic on us again.”

“Probably,” Crow replied. “I mean, if you’re scared of asking Arez out, you haven’t asked him out yet.”

“Shut up.”

“Just do it,” Crow said. “What’ve you got to lose?”

“That’s the worst argument ever.”

Crow shrugged.

Nova tried not to think about it while waiting for Arez to come back. He tried to think, great, here he was again, waiting for Arez. He didn’t wait for Arez. He kept living his life, kept going to uni, kept going to his shitty part-time job, kept teasing his little brother about the demon, kept teasing his older brother about the angels, nephlims and God knows what else (literally), hell, he even looked at other men and wishing he’d feel some spark. But it was always with the thought ‘When will I see Arez again?’ at the back of his mind. Or in that last case, ‘How is this pretty boy completely devoid of charm compared to some tub of Greek Yoghurt I haven’t seen in years?’

So really, what was different now that he’d seen Arez again?

Probably knowing that he would see Arez again. Unless whatever Arez was running from caught up to them. And it would. And then what?

What would be enough to make _Arez Smythe_ , who’d spent five hours figuring out the mechanics behind the quiz and then doxxed J.K. Rowling demanding a personal apology or else after Pottermore sorted him into _Slytherin_ , give up on his ambitions?

Arez and Lao came back forty minutes later, Lao’s nails painted a deep sapphire blue.

“It’s my favourite colour,” Arez said.

“It’s mine too,” Lao said.

Crow stared at them. “Oh, Nova’s eye colour? Yeah, that’s my favourite colour too.”

Nova rolled his eyes and called them idiots to avoid admitting how much he felt about these idiots every time they pulled stupid stunts like this.

“Arez is sleeping in my room tonight,” Lao announced. “To save his modesty.”

Nova raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

Lao shrugged. “It is what it is, brother.”

So, that was the annoying rule established. Arez sleeping in Lao’s bed, where the brat _fucked demons_ , like that was morally superior to sleeping Nova’s bed where Nova dreamt about — okay, never mind, the brat had a point, shit.

It was actually a lot like when Arez used to sleep over, in the moments Nova or Lao could coax him out of his treehouse. They watched stupid shit, Arez tried to help cook, he leant into Nova on the couch as the night dragged on. Except his hair was blond, he kept making off-hand remarks about what he was ‘allowed’ to eat, and every time he realised he was doing it Arez sat up straight.

Still. Better than no Arez.

*

Nova’s alarm woke him up, which meant he had work. At his job. While Arez was around. While Arez _nosey Smythe_ was around judging them all from his pop-star pedestal.

Great.

When Nova walked into the kitchen, Lao handed him a mug of coffee and said, “Go to sleep earlier if you’re gonna yawn so much.”

“Uh. No?”

Lao turned away, back to the omelette he was rolling. “Arez is still asleep.”

“Did I ask?”

“You don’t need to be defensive,” Lao said, “you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Like you know.”

Nova took a heavy drink from the mug, setting it on the counter, and opened the fridge to hide behind the door.

“I’m not back until late tonight,” Lao said. Nova heard the click as he turned off the stove. “After class I’ve got an Amnesty International meeting, then rehearsals, then — well, stuff. I won’t be back until 9, maybe 10?”

“Okay,” Nova said, glad the fridge was keeping him from feeling much of the warmth gathering in his cheeks.

“Brother. You’re going to let the flies in.”

Groaning, Nova stepped back, throwing the door closed.

“You don’t have to say anything to him, but it’s not gonna hurt him if you want to,” Lao said. “Sometimes you baby people too much.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do.” Lao gave a small ‘yes!’ as he successfully flipped the rolled omelette from the pan onto a plate. “If you want to tell him, just tell him.”

“And what do you think I want to tell him?”

Lao looked at him, eyebrows raised and lips scrunched up towards his scar. Tfw he doesn't know whether to be disbelieving or sympathetic while judging you.

“You don't care?”

“Why would I?”

“ _You_ know why.”

Lao rolled his eyes before his expression softened with pure sincerity. “Better you than me.”

Nova snorted.

Crow burst in, trying to pull a jacket on while tying his hair in a ponytail. “Gotta go. Work. Stuff. I’m late.” Jacket hanging off one arm, he grabbed Nova’s coffee, downing it in one. “Fucking disgusting. Who does that?”

“Wasn't for you,” Lao said.

“Back tomorrow,” Crow said, handing the mug to Nova. “ _Don't_ do it.”

Then he disappeared.

“How can you run late when you can teleport?” Lao wondered.

Nova shrugged. He set the worthless mug down. “I gotta go too.”

Lao looked at him in that way clearly judging how long he’d spent in the fridge and how much nothing he’d eaten.

 _Get a life so you’ll stop worrying about mine_ , Nova thought.

 _Hypocrite_ , Nova replied to himself.

“Say hi to Barbara,” Lao said. “Oh, and, I’m not leaving until one, so, Arez won't be here on his own for long. Just in case you were worried.”

“Yeah. Thanks. Bye.”

Nova rushed from the kitchen as quickly as he could without literally running, barely remembering to grab his car keys on the way. He didn't like driving, but it was better than catching a bus full of staring school kids.

Going to work was good. He never had to talk to people much (but having to do it with the incentive of money had made him much better at it than he was a few years ago), and it was a good reminder that life didn't have to be as melodramatic as Arez Smythe.

Not that even Arez wanted his life to be as melodramatic as Arez Smythe.

Plus he got to cut things up. To an extent. Cutting stems counted, right? Even if he had to do it a certain way to keep the flowers from decomposing faster?

Barbara was a cheerful white grandma as always, and responded to Lao’s ‘hello’ by giving Nova yet more cakes. Half the time he swore she’d taken too many charity ads about feeding Africans too seriously in all the wrong ways.

Every time he had to cut roses, Nova ended up staring at a bunch, wondering if he should take one for Arez. Red, dark red, white, pink, orange, the modified rainbow ones that were at least appropriately gay…

Except, Arez often had a lot of roses in his music videos, didn't he? Dark ones, if not dyed black, with an unrealistic number of thorns, to represent his inner turmoil at being Arez Smythe. Maybe it’d be insensitive.

Lao would say he was overthinking. Except, Arez overthought things too. Anything to come to the conclusion he wanted, and Nova didn't know what conclusion Arez wanted here.

Maybe Arez just wanted to keep flirting around.

Maybe Arez was not so much incapable of love, as incapable of expressing it healthily or with respect.

Maybe he was too caught up in how Arez had been when he was fourteen, fifteen, up until Athena broke his nose when he was sixteen.

Nova went home without any roses.

He walked in to find Arez in the kitchen, eyes bulging at the mountains of ‘leftovers’ in the fridge.

“Yo,” Nova said.

Arez jumped slightly, throwing the door closed. “Hi! Oh! You’re home already.”

Nova set Barbara’s stupid Tupperware container of stupid lamingtons on the counter.

“I mean! I was, uh…” He gestured at the fridge. “I was gonna try cooking.”

“Really don’t need my house burnt down, Aré.”

“Ha! Ha! Stop living with a _clown_ who sets himself on fire instead of putting on clothes, then!”

“Yep, there’s the notorious bitchy Los Angeles wit.”

“Someday I’ll show you the clown who’s just like Lao,” Arez muttered. “He’s even there, with gum, gross.”

“Pixie doesn’t chew gum any more,” Nova replied. “That was only so he’d quit smoking, anyway.”

“And yet he keeps setting himself on fire! Instead of putting on proper clothes!”

“Hey, I didn’t say it made sense.”

Arez leant back against the fridge. His hair didn’t look as weird any more, but it was still too white-blond. And he still looked sensational as he smirked victoriously over something that wasn’t even a victory, like Nova had ever denied that Lao was completely fucking weird.

“I was gonna cook,” Arez said, again, “but there’s already so much in there? What the fuck?”

“Pixie,” Nova replied. “He likes to cook cos it means we eat what he wants.”

“So _now_ he’s all domestic? Cos of a demon?”

“I doubt it,” Nova said. “More cos there’s nobody telling him how woman-ish cooking is.”

Arez’s face turned red. “Well. Well. Everyone’s stupid when they’re a teenager!”

“You’re still a teenager.”

“Nineteen! Barely counts!” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, I really sucked though, didn’t I?”

“Back then, yeah,” Nova replied. “We get it though.”

Arez smiled at him, very briefly, before looking away. He pushed off the fridge, jumped on the counter and sat.

“So, so, um,” he said, very quietly. “Uh. Lao wouldn’t tell me where you work?”

“Flower shop,” Nova replied, taking his turn with the fridge. “Whaddaya wanna eat, then?”

Arez wasn’t answering.

“Aré?”

Nova looked at him. Arez was staring, disbelieving, yet grinning.

“What?”

“You work in a flower shop?”

“So.”

Arez grinned. “That’s so… _anime_.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“I wouldn’t’ve guessed it, but it really suits you,” Arez continued, still grinning. “Like, you’re good with colours, and you spend a lot of time putting up with delicate metaphorical flowers, which is absolutely what both Lao and Crow are, by the way, I don’t know how they’d ever survive without you, do they even know how to be independent? Like, does Lao know if you cook enough food for 500 people you should actually freeze some of it because 3 people can’t eat enough food for 500 people in the time before it’d go off in a fridge? That’s basic s—”

“Aré. Are you really gonna be a jyji invoking science.”

“— not… science… then…? Common sense? I don’t think any of you have magic food preserving powers?”

“Nah, we don’t,” Nova replied.

Arez nodded, and started speaking even more quickly. “I mean, basically, you’re really nurturing? Even when I was a piece of shit, you still thought I could be better. And you always challenged me to be. And I always wanna be better for you.”

Holy shit. Was this it?

“I was gonna bring flowers for you,” Nova found himself saying. “’Cept then I thought, you wouldn’t like that, cos of your music videos.”

“I just don’t see the point?” Arez said. “They’re dead plants that get deader and are full of pollen until then. No offence. They’re good if you like them. But for me, there’s better ways to say, um… um…”

Nova stepped closer. “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Arez said, “that.”

Nova didn’t stop until he was in front of Arez. “I wasn’t just finishing your sentence.”

Arez met his eyes.

“I really missed you,” Nova said.

“Me too,” Arez said. His eyes were bright. “Nova! Me too!”

He leant forward until he was kissing Nova.

 _Holy shit, finally_, Nova’s entire body and soul said.

Nova pulled him closer, until Arez was perched on the edge of the bench, kissing him more and more the entire time. Arez’s hands tangled in Nova’s hair, his legs wrapped around Nova’s waist, and Nova had never wanted anything more. He wanted everything, the stupid moments, the embarrassing moments, the fun moments, these new moments, _everything_.

“Nova,” Arez murmured when he broke the kiss, still so damn close. “You need to breathe, right?”

“I need you more,” Nova replied.

Arez started kissing his neck, murmuring, “You’ve got me.”

“I want you, so badly,” Nova groaned.

Again, Arez said, “You’ve got me.”

“No, Aré, I mean —”

“I know what you mean,” Arez interrupted. He met Nova’s eyes, and in between his flushed cheeks, anticipating gaze and slow, steady voice, Nova could hear how much he also wanted it when Arez said, “Take me to your bed. I’m only doing it on a bed.”

Nova laughed. “Yeah. Got it.”

Arez kissed him again, more sweet than heated.

Everything he did only made Nova want him more.

“I’m not carrying you, don’t reckon I can manage that,” Nova said. He pulled away enough for Arez to jump down from the counter, which he did, after a disappointed mutter. “C’mon.”

Arez took Nova’s hand, fingers tight between his. He had a slightly dazed look the entire time Nova led him, matching how Nova felt. For some reason Nova’d imagined leading Arez to bed would involve less talking (and his hair any colour but blond), but he liked this. Nervous chatter was an essential part of the Arez Smythe experience. As were endearingly persistent blushes, nervous pulling at his clothes, and the inevitable moment when Arez became completely distracted by seeing Nova’s room and cried, “You have so many books!”

“I’m doin’ my PhD, of course I do,” Nova replied.

“I know, cos you’re a super genius,” Arez replied, so casually it had to be how he casually thought of Nova in his head (nice). “I mean it looks like you’ve actually read them all?”

“Probably,” Nova replied. “’S no big deal.”

“It is,” Arez replied. He looked at Nova’s bed for a long moment, as though absorbing every detail, before pulling Nova towards it. Nova barely managed to close the door in Arez’s insistence. “Come _on_!”

They sat on the edge of Nova’s bed, and Nova kissed Arez again. Arez leant against him, kissing back with increasing urgency.

“Hey,” Nova murmured, pulling away slightly, “we’ve got time.”

“When, when are your brothers…?”

“Hours. Tonight. Late.”

“I wanna do it, so badly,” Arez said. He pressed his lips against Nova’s, pulling back, head lowered as he murmured, “I wanna, y’know…”

“No, I don’t, not unless you tell me,” Nova replied.

Arez clung to Nova’s shoulder as he whispered in his ear, “You. Inside me.” Then he collapsed back, covering his face with his hands.

“Are you actually that embarrassed?” Nova asked.

“’M not embarrassed,” Arez protested. “Okay, fine, I’m embarrassed cos I’ve been thinking about this since I was _sixteen_.”

“Sixteen?”

Arez groaned. “Shut up.”

Nova crawled over Arez, pulling his hands away. He’d never seen Arez blush so much, and he liked it. “I’ve been thinkin’ about it since around then, too.”

Arez mumbled, “You’re so gay for me it’s overwhelming.”

“Yup, I know,” Nova replied. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

Arez kissed him. Nova kissed him back, working one hand through Arez’s hair, exactly how made him relax.

“We’ll take it slow,” Nova promised him. “I mean. We’ve got no time-limit, do we?”

“Okay, I get what you’re trying to _romantically_ imply, but _seriously_ , how long until your brothers come home?” Arez demanded.

“I said, late tonight. Not before nine.”

“Th-then, then. Uh.” Arez pushed Nova back on the bed. “A minute. I need a minute, to, uh. Get ready.”

“Did you have to push me over?”

“Yeah. Cos you’re so hard to leave.” He stood up, dashing out of the room.

Not exactly reassuring. But then again, Nova knew exactly what it was like to feel so much you get overwhelmed and forget how to process things properly.

Arez returned ten minutes later, blush only a faint tinge. He jumped on the bed, stretching out next to Nova, and lay a condom and a bottle of lube in front of him. Suddenly Nova realised Arez hadn't been composing himself at all. “Okay. I’m ready now.”

“You sure?”

“Yess.”

He sat up until he crouched on his knees, pulling off his jumper. He actually started folding it, carefully dropping it off the edge of the bed. He undid his shorts next, pulling them and his underwear down to his knees, before lying back again. Before Arez could reach to take them off himself, Nova slid them down, enjoying the smooth skin of Arez’s calves, before he pulled them off and tossed them aside.

“Novaaa,” Arez groaned, lying back on the bed. On his back. Hair already coiling into knots.

“’S fine,” Nova said. He didn’t know how Arez could worry about folding clothes, especially when he could very visibly see how hard he was. “Is there anything’ I shouldn’t —”

“I’m _not_ made of glass, if you wanna do something, do it, I’ll tell you if I don’t like it,” Arez interrupted. “Right now I don’t like how you’re still fully dressed!”

Nova hesitated around that thought. “Uh. Aré. I, I have some scars that, they’re, um.”

Arez sat up again, tugging at Nova’s jacket. “You’re the best, sexiest, greatest person ever and I don’t care. I want all of you.”

So, they were on the same page. Nova started to remove his jacket, saying, “Guess we can’t all be as pretty as you, after all.”

Arez smiled. “You think I’m pretty?”

Nova paused to kiss him. He said, “You’re too fuckin’ gorgeous, Aré.”

Arez kissed him again. He kept kissing, and Nova kept kissing back, as they both pushed off Nova’s jacket, and Arez undid Nova’s pants, and Nova struggled to pull those off, but he did, and only broke the kiss briefly to pull off his t-shirt. Once he was done, Arez wrapped his arms around Nova’s neck, deepening the kiss as he pressed closer. Somehow, Nova swore the fact that it was Arez’s skin brushing against his made him harder.

“I really am overwhelmingly gay for you,” Nova said.

“I know,” Arez said in a gruff voice. He quickly returned to normal and babbled, “I don’t, actually, thanks for telling me, but, y’know —”

“Yeah, _Star Wars_ , I know.”

As he relaxed, Arez’s hands slid across Nova’s shoulders, his eyes dragging slowly across what he could see of Nova’s body, and Nova’s stomach started knotting itself.

“You’re better than anything in _Star Wars_ ,” Arez said. “Like. In every way.” Slowly, his thumb caressed Nova’s upper arm, across a wide scar.

“Aré —”

“Seriously,” he interrupted. “Nova. I’d need all the lyricists in New York _and_ L.A. to help me get anywhere close to describing how gorgeous _you_ are. So. Take that.”

“Who wrote that pickup line?”

“My heart? You jerk?”

Nova couldn’t help laughing.

“I even love you laughing at me,” Arez said. He pulled Nova on top of him as he lay back down.

Nova wrapped one arm around Arez, kissing him as he pulled him closer. With the other, he blindly fumbled with the condom and lube and, okay, shit, he should’ve done at least some of this while Arez was going on about how hot he was despite being covered in scars. Or maybe because of? Would Arez have that kink?

Arez pulled back to ask, “Do _you_ need a moment?”

“No,” Nova replied, very quickly.

“It’s okay if you do, jeez,” Arez said. “You always do this! You tell me it’s fine, then you won’t do the same for yourself. Well, I say it’s fine too, so!”

“Okay,” Nova said, “I kinda do.”

He dropped his head against Arez’s shoulder, breathing in deeply. Arez pushed Nova’s hair back, kissing his cheek more softly than he’d ever kissed Nova before.

“I don’t want this to suck,” Nova said. “I want it to be perfect.”

“I don’t care if the sex sucks,” Arez replied. “I care if it’s with you.”

What an Arez response. Nova found himself relaxing in all the right ways (and none of the wrong places).

“Plus, I mean, if we’ve got time to go slow, we’ve got time to get it right, don’t we?” Arez said. “Lots of time. I hope. Not just today.”

“I hope so too,” Nova replied. He lifted his head, surprised by how deeply furrowed Arez’s brow was. He was really worried. Not about not getting laid. He immediately looked relieved when he took in how much more relaxed Nova’s breathing was. He even pressed his hand against Nova’s diaphragm. “Aré, I’m —”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Arez interrupted. “I wanna be perfect for you too, y’know. Except perfect doesn’t actually exist. And even if the sex somehow does suck, I don’t — I mean, if I’ve loved you so much I couldn’t even try to forget about it in the past three years, and if we’re back to like this in a day, and if you don’t care what a horrible blond I am, I don’t care, there’s better things, and they’re so good that I actually considered perfect a concept for a moment cos _look at you, Nova_.”

“Y’know,” Nova said, slowly, as the words washed over him, as he tried to absorb them in his memory, “sometimes your ranting is actually the best thing.”

Arez brushed his thigh against Nova’s erection. Holy _shit_. “Are you ready?”

“Yep,” Nova said. His voice sounded tight.

“Really? Not just cos I wanna?”

“Absolutely not,” Nova replied. “Quit teasing.”

“Aw, but I finally figured out how to!” He pulled the condom from Nova’s hand, split the wrapper, and squeezed it out. “Okay. I’m gonna put it on you. Bet I can do it without looking.”

“Go for it,” Nova said sceptically. He doubted he could do that himself.

Arez reached between them with his other hand, until he curled it around it. Nova bit his lip. The only instantly amazing part was how, over all these years, he’d never noticed how rough the skin on Arez’s fingers were. His palm was smooth, but the callouses — that had to be from guitar, right? But he quickly forgot about it as Arez pointedly closed his eyes, reaching down with his other hand, and effortlessly rolled the condom on.

“Ha!”

“Yeah, yeah, nicely done,” Nova said, lifting Arez’s hands up against the pillow with his own. He leant down and kissed Arez as he spread his legs slightly.

“I’m ready,” Arez said. “Before, in the um, y’know. I’m all ready.”

“No, yeah, I realised what you were doing.”

“Okay. Um. Yeah.”

“Yeah. You’re ready?”

“I’m ready. Are you ready?”

“Yep. I’m ready.”

“I didn’t _just_ mean emotionally,” Arez said, lifting his hips up. “You’re not. Um. I dunno what actual people call it, but the Naruto fanfics say ‘probing his’ — or y’know, my — ‘entrance’. You’re not, doing that.”

Nova tried burying his face in his pillow to suppress his laughter, but it didn’t really work when he was _on_ Arez and his entire body was shaking with it.

“What! Shut up!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Nova struggled to say, lifting his head back up. He pulled his hands from Arez’s, reaching down to support Arez’s hips with one hand, and to — “There, I’ll probe your entrance. Am I meant to call your arse your ‘love tunnel’ too?”

“No! I think it’s passage? Love passage? Never mind! Forget you ever heard me say _any_ of that! Okay!”

“Hell no.”

The blush was back, and Arez didn’t look very angry at all. Not even resigned to the eternal humiliation of ‘entrance probing’; like he secretly thought it was funny too but wouldn’t admit it right now because they were doing something serious and he was shy and how the fuck could Arez Smythe be so adorable.

Nova kissed him as he pushed inside. He was struck by how warm it was, but he always was. What made it special was Arez softly gasping his name, his fingers grabbing at the pillows, as he did his best to press down against Nova.

It was sex. And sex was never bad, or ever really ‘as usual’, but moving back and forth slowly, feeling Arez following his movements beneath him, wasn’t anywhere near the sheer pleasure of it _being_ Arez. This was Arez adjusting his legs, pressing his feet up against Nova’s back, opening himself up just right; this was Arez turning his head to the side as he gasped with pleasure; this was Arez glancing at him through hooded eyes, quickly closing them again, slowly opening them again, staring at Nova’s face as intensely as Nova stared at his own.

“Wait,” Arez gasped. “Wait, stop, wait, wait, wait.”

Nova had immediately frozen, but sometimes Arez needed to repeat himself so his own brain could process what came out of his mouth. Nova pulled out, sitting back as Arez sat up. His face was red and he wouldn’t look at Nova.

“It’s okay,” Nova said. “D’ya —”

“I don’t wanna stop,” Arez said. “You were looking at me too much, like…” He trailed off. “You’re embarrassing me!”

He pushed slightly at Nova’s chest. Nova pulled out and sat back as Arez sat up, quickly latching onto Nova. Hands on Nova’s shoulders, he climbed into Nova’s lap, pressing himself so close Nova could feel burning heat as their erections pressed together.

“Aré? What’s wrong?”

Arez shook his head. “Can, can I, um.” He groaned slightly, wrapping his arms around Nova’s neck. His lips brushed against Nova’s ear as he whispered, quieter than Nova’d ever heard him say anything else, “Can I ride you for a bit?”

“Shit. Yeah.”

Nova’d been terrified for a moment he’d somehow hurt Arez, or something genuinely stupid like having sex had actually made Arez realise he _didn’t_ love Nova, but no, he got it. Arez was embarrassed because they’d been watching each other. It was obvious in how Arez kept his face hidden, over Nova’s shoulder, against his neck, but still gasped and moaned (especially Nova’s name) in the same way. Was it any wonder Nova came before him? Or that Arez looked smug about that, even as they jerked him off together?

When they collapsed on the bed together, Arez curled up against Nova, still hiding his face, but glowing just as much as Nova. Especially when Nova started gently untangling his hair.

“Was it as good as your fantasies?” Nova asked.

“Better,” Arez replied, “cos it was real.”

Nova smiled. “You sap.”

As he looked up at Nova, Arez actually laughed. A soft, breathy laugh that washed over Nova’s skin and sunk into his heart. Nova kissed Arez’s forehead and hoped he’d be able to hear a million more laughs from him.

“It was so good,” Arez said, “so good, even if you’re embarrassing, I wanna do it again and again and again until I’m not embarrassed any more no matter how much you stare at me like…” His face went red again. “Like that.”

Nova leant closer, brushing his lips against Arez’s neck. “Like what?”

“Like you really do love me!”

“I do love you,” Nova replied.

“I knooow,” Arez groaned. “It’s embarrassing how _much_.” He mumbled, quickly and quietly, “And how much you want me, too.”

“Which is so much,” Nova replied.

“I know,” Arez said. “It’s embarrassing cos it’s just as much as I want you. Even though I never actually want anybody. Except then I want you so much I can’t think properly around you. So if neither of us are thinking properly, what if we’re doing something really stupid?”

“Do you really think it’s stupid?”

“I mean. No. Not at all. I just said it cos that’s how logic works.”

Nova pulled Arez closer, into the circle of his arms. “I bet it’s not stupid at all.”

“I’m famous,” Arez said, “and insane. And biologically related to the people who ruined your life. And we’re not even getting into what the hell’s with Christian.”

Nova kissed Arez’s temple and replied, “Or maybe you’re hyper-fixating on those things because you’re easily embarrassed and scared.”

“Or maybe I’m easily embarrassed and scared _because of_ those things.”

“Probably,” Nova agreed. “And I’m probably too hyper-fixated on the post-sex high and how much I love you to worry about any of it right now.”

Arez twisted around, arms slowly circling around Nova as he muttered, “Good.”

“So, this is why we didn’t get together before now?” Nova asked. “Since you apparently knew how I felt all along.”

Arez nodded. “And I didn’t _want_ to have feelings. Gross. Y’know. Love feelings.”

When he thought about it without anxiety weighing down his mind, and purely from what he knew of how Arez’s mind worked, Nova could make sense of that. It fit with the looks, the blushes, the withdrawals, the sudden shouting, the way Arez had talked about leaving while practically lying on him…

“But I do now,” Arez said quickly. “Not just ’cos I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop back then. Y’know, right? And I really tried! But, I mean, now, I just, like feeling, I guess, most of the time, not always, it sucks a lot, but, I mean, I… um…”

“I get it,” Nova said.

Arez smiled softly, in a way that enclosed Nova’s entire being in pleasure that overlapped the afterglow, and said, “Somehow, you always do.”

When Arez kissed him again, Nova’s mind was still on that smile, and how badly he wanted to see it every single day for the rest of their lives.

*

Three years ago. Nova opened the door, wondering if he’d really heard the faint knocks. Athena Smythe looked up at him, shoulders hunched and lip nervously torn between her teeth.

“Yeah? Hi?”

“Hi,” she said, voice higher pitched than usual. “Um. Could you check on Arez, maybe? I kind of punched him in the face a bit?”

Nova’s jaw dropped. “You — you what?”

“I know, I’m sorry!” Athena cried. “But the things he was saying to me — you don’t know what it’s like, okay? I’m tired of him making me cry because he can’t deal with his own life!”

“No, I —”

“And it’s not my fault he doesn’t listen when anyone else speaks!” Athena cried. “I’ve tried talking to him for _years_ , and I know a lot of why he’s not listening is because somehow he’s decided all women are worthless, so, don’t, okay? Just check on him. Because I’m not a monster. He just has a way of bringing out the worst in people.”

“Calm down,” Nova said. “I was gonna say, about fuckin’ time, actually.”

Athena raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Nova shrugged. “I like how he could be more than how he is.”

Athena huffed, “Me too.”

“And I see it sometimes. Why he’s worth bothering with. How he could be if he let himself.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Athena said. “Can you just check on him?”

She stormed off before Nova could respond — not towards her house, but down the street.

Nova found Arez in his treehouse, curled up on himself. “Hey.”

“I heard you!” Arez cried. His voice was stuffy and thick. “You said I deserve it!”

“You treat her like crap,” Nova said. “It’s like Christian takes his anger out on you, then you take it out on her. Except when you’re taking it out on Lao. Or me.”

“I don’t do that!” Arez cried. Then, quietly, “I don’t want to do that.”

Nova sat there, waiting.

“I do treat Athena like crap,” he said. “I’m angry that it’s me. Because I’m a boy, so I should be able to take it? And then _they_ go on about _misogyny_ and — I know! I know that doesn’t actually mean anything! Lao’s shown me the data. Luna’s shown me the data. Kez’s shown me the data. And Kris has given me the total _lack_ of MRA data, so, I know! I know! But then I get angry and…”

 _This is not someone you want to give your heart to_ , Nova thought. _This is someone who will burn you to keep himself warm_.

“I’m trying,” Arez said. “Music! I’m trying to put it all, the anger and stuff that’s stupid and makes me stupid, I’m trying to put it in music, but what if I make _other_ people like this? Cos of my powers? But then, I… I don’t want anyone to leave me.”

“Maybe she should leave you,” Nova said. “For her own sake.”

Arez didn’t respond.

“Would you let her?”

“Yes,” he said. “And I’d keep myself away. I don’t want to hurt people. I keep doing it anyway cos I _do_ want to hurt people. I don’t want to want to hurt people.”

“You seriously need help,” Nova said. “Not just for your nose.”

“Christian wouldn’t —”

“Fuck him,” Nova said. “If you wanna do this, we’ll make it happen. Do you?”

“Yes!” Arez cried. “I never wanna deserve being punched in the face again. Especially not by Athie.”

Nova helped him up. “C’mon then. I guess, hospital first, for your face, then… then I don’t know. Some way to get a therapist.”

Between the blood, the t-shirt he was holding against his nose, and the hair, not much of Arez’s face was visible. But Nova could see the regret in Arez’s eyes was only outweighed by the determination.

*

By the time Lao came home, they were too exhausted to experiment with any other sexual things, had cleaned up, and were lying on the couch watching bad TV. Nova really appreciated the scent of his own shampoo coming from Arez’s hair — and that Arez had let him use more toner on it.

“I’m home,” Lao called from the front door. Nova glanced at the entranceway, watching as Lao pulled off his heels. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. Right now.”

Arez peered over the back of the couch in disbelief as Lao walked away without another word. “What? He’s not making fun of us? Nothing? Has he grown up too?”

“Shit, no, nothing like that,” Nova replied. “He’s sneaking the demon in. I dunno why he thinks he’s being subtle.”

Arez lay back down. “Hm. Well. I dunno why he’s sneaking around at all.”

“Sometimes Crow has angels around. Demons and angels don’t exactly mix well.”

“Hmm,” Arez said, closing his eyes.

They both perked up very quickly when the 10 o’clock news bulletin announced that Tasmanian-born pop star Arez Smythe had gone missing.

“Noooo,” Arez groaned, quickly turning the TV off. “How could they report me as missing?! I left a note!”

“What did your note say?”

“That I wanted to keep making music but I needed a new manager and my dad needed to leave me alone and get his own life.”

Nova frowned. “Who is your manager, anyway?”

“Some dainisa guy,” Arez replied. “I guess he’s jyji.”

Oh no. “Arez. Who is it?”

“His name’s Leon? Leon Eastman?”

“Oh, _fuck_.”

“What? You know him?”

“Yeah,” Nova said, laughing bitterly. “Yeah, I know him.”

“Well, well, um.” Arez whined. “I don’t know what to say to that! Why do you know him?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nova replied. “Let’s just say he’s Crow’s uncle.”

“The creepy uncle?! What did you call him — Old Man Yiffy?!”

“Yup.”

“ _Leon_ is Old Man Yiffy?!”

“Yeah.”

“Gross!” He frowned. “Wait, why would some old furry who tried to take over the world want my music?”

“To use your voice to take over the world?”

Arez groaned. “That is so stupid!”

“Stupid is kind of his thing.”

“This is fine,” Arez said. “I’m here. In Tasmania. I can stay here, I’ve only got one more album in my contract, I can finish the songs from here, then I’m out of it, and what’s Leon gonna do, huh?”

“I dunno,” Nova replied. “He’s good at coming up with stupid ideas.”

“We’ll be fine,” Arez said.

“Arez,” Nova said, terror dawning on him, “where’s Athena?”

“She left at the same time I did,” Arez replied. “Except she’s staying — somewhere else. She didn’t want me to say.”

“How do you know Old Man Yiffy isn’t going to get to her?”

“She’s got some of the teleportation gem too. And she knows where I am, cos she knows where you live,” Arez replied. “Does Old Man Yiffy know where you live?”

“No. But your father does.”

“…oh. I didn’t think of that.”

Nova got up and made sure the door was locked. Arez watched him, frowning slightly, as he started checking the windows too.

“But if he turns up, I’ll just sing at him,” Arez said. “And, if my label forces me back to LA or New York, well. You can come with me?”

“I’d like that way better under more consensual circumstances,” Nova replied. “I know we’re gonna be fine. He wouldn’t have spread that news if he weren’t trying to go about this by using the law against you. I’m just making sure.”

Arez climbed over the back of the couch. “D’ya wanna go back to bed? I don’t mean for sex. I mean cos then it’ll be tomorrow faster and I can check on Athena.”

Nova nodded. “Yeah. Good idea.”

As he wrapped himself against Nova’s arm, Arez said, “I read a few books about anxiety cos I missed you.”

“What a sweet back-handed compliment.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t easy to fall asleep, but having Arez in his arms did a lot to convince Nova it was going to be okay.

Next morning, Nova shook Arez awake. Arez groaned, burying his face deeper in the pillow.

“C’mon, Aré.”

“But I love you and your bed and I have both of you!”

“So we gotta sort it out so you can stay,” Nova replied.

“Then can we stay in bed an entire day?”

“Sure. If you don’t get bored.”

“I’ll only get bored after _half_ a day, thanks.”

When Arez sat up, Nova had to kiss him.

Lao was finishing up in the kitchen when they came out. The demon was actually starting to wash up before Lao had even finished.

“Morning brother,” Lao said. “Hi Arez.”

“Hi,” Arez said. “So, apparently my manager is Old Man Yiffy?”

Lao almost dropped his plate of pancakes. “What?!”

“Is it really that surprising?” the demon asked. “Was someone who tried to take over the world by starting a civil war in Australia really going to give up that easily?”

Lao glared at him. “Do you know something?”

“Nothing you don’t,” the demon replied. “You’re the one who told me Luci was hanging out with him.”

“Luci?” Nova groaned.

“Who’s Luci?” Arez asked.

“The literal fuckin’ devil,” Nova replied.

“Old Man Yiffy accidentally dated him for like, a decade,” Lao explained. “Luci was my teacher for a while. In disguise. I only figured it out after Gabby told me what Luci’s like.”

“If Old Man Yiffy ran out of options but not ambition, why wouldn’t he make a deal with Luci?” the demon asked.

“Yeah, and what deal did you make again?” Nova asked.

“Brother,” Lao hissed. “You don’t need to know that!”

“Do _you_ know that?”

“Of course I do!”

“Yeah, well —”

“HEY!” Arez shouted. “Who cares? Old Man Yiffy isn’t going to get me, why would I hang out with Luci, and how are they gonna make me do anything? Huh? I don’t want to. And I don’t think any of you are gonna let them get me. And Old Man Yiffy doesn’t even have magic! So there!”

Nova rolled his eyes. “Aré, he’s got gems, you said it yourself.”

“No, Athena stole them,” Arez replied. “So I’ll go get her. Then it’ll be fine. And we can all have pancakes and laugh at how much Old Man Yiffy fails at life!”

He disappeared in a flash of topaz.

“I mean, he does fail at life,” the demon said.

Nobody could disagree with that.

A few moments later, Arez reappeared with Athena. She was actually wearing jeans and a hoodie, and looked very uncomfortable with the fact as she murmured, “Hi again, everyone. Sorry, Arez was very insistent, I had to rush.”

“You look cute,” Lao said. “That green really suits you.”

“Oh, thanks, it’s not mine, I’m borrowing it from — a friend,” she said. “Arez mentioned something about a yiffy man? I don’t understand.”

“My manager is evil, geez,” Arez said. “Keep up!”

“I can’t keep up with things you don’t tell me.”

“I don’t want to explain what yiff is!”

The demon started laughing.

“He’s a former jyji,” Lao said. “My mum had him stripped of his titles and, if he had powers she would’ve stripped those, too. Because he tried to take over the world using me and Nova when we were kids. Then a few years later, he somehow got my mum to hire his then-girlfriend as a private tutor for me, and she was, um, Satanic. Oh, she also taught your brother, Candy. So he’s double-exiled.”

“Once again I feel so lucky to have not been raised a Rivera,” Athena said. To Arez she added, “Not that the alternative was any good either.”

“You have the gems?” Lao asked.

Athena nodded, holding up a small drawstring bag.

“I trust you with them,” Lao said. “Um, it mightn’t be the most comfortable, but maybe you should stay here until we can sort this all out.”

“Maybe,” Athena said. “How are you going to do that?”

“Well. Uh—”

Crow appeared, Remy at his left, Gabriel at his right. Between them, they had a large and very fake-tan man wearing pink leather bound.

“We’ve already handled it,” Remy said.

“Hey, I wanted to say that,” Crow hissed.

“Suck it, babe, my premonition, my dramatic entrance.”

“I see that everything is in order here,” Gabriel said. “We found Luci en route with the false prophet of yiff.”

“Where’s he?” Nova asked.

“Jail,” Remy replied. “Not _your_ jail. _His_ jail.” He gestured at Luci.

“You killed him?” Lao gasped.

“Wow, no, ask your dumb boyfriend, you don’t have to be dead to go to Hell,” Remy said. “Jesus Christ.”

“Excuse you,” Gabriel sniffed. “I’ll be taking Luci and leaving. This is far more mortals than I can bear to look at at once.”

And then he was gone.

“Well,” Lao said. “Um.”

“Thanks Crow,” Athena said. “I don’t really understand, but, thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Arez said. “Lao made pancakes, can we have them now?”

*

Two weeks later, Arez finally decided to dye his hair black again. He’d been right, nobody recognised him when they went in public. Except they didn’t actually want to be in public much. Nova liked a routine that gave him plenty of time at home. Turned out Arez did, too.

Even if they never managed to spend a whole day in bed, waking up there with Arez was enough. Life was weird, especially with angels and demons and princesses everywhere, but Arez was always there, equally as confused. At least now he laughed more at Nova’s pithy remarks, and made Nova’s heart swoon more than he’d ever admit.

**Author's Note:**

> it's not a cop-out if the focus was the Relationship, Not The Plot, okay,,,
> 
> i'm so sorry this took literally a year and a half oh my god
> 
> also the 26th is arez's birthday, lol


End file.
